Current mood: Dying soon

Wah.... Today damn bu shuang...

I lost $10... wah... in class.... Today, I am really tired to be in class and study... But I still manage to force myself to study at least 1 chapter of Chemistry... But I still fall asleep in the end...

Haiz... Den today, I received a $14 from my friends... Haha... How foolish am I to put them in my pencil box without zipping them.... Wah... Pro and champion... Ya...Nvm... I got lost during the period when I went to have my lunch at the school canteen... Ya... Haiz... What can I say... Is just that I am too foolish enough to put my $$ there... Haha... Nothing to say...

A few minutes ago, I just quarrelled with my parents cause I simply feel that they are biased against me lah... Maybe it is because of my problem but I really think that they are really too biased against my elder brother lah... So jealous of that...

They are very concerned about my brothers' matters and simply treat mine as nothing important... Wah... Feel like crying out now... But I can't as I need and must put on a brave front in front of others... I doesn't like the way that others uses those sympathy eyes to look at me... I dun need to be sympathise... I am brave person... Ya... That's it.... Anyway, I think that they are really bias against me lah especially my mum... I think that somehow, we are not related in blood... Ya... Must be... I am not her biological daughter... Ya... Must be the reason that she always treat me like an outsider... ya...

Haiz.. What am I doing in this world... Maybe, I should just slash my arteries and die or just jump off the building... Any of the way, I doubt that anyone will care as I am just a nobody or someone that others really detest alot in this world... Ya... haha... Feeling an urge to kill myself now... Ohh... I shouldn't be so emotional to think about such stuff... It is not morally and mentally right But I cannot stop myself... Haiz...

Sheryl >>> If you cannot decide how you live, then no one in this world will...

Current Mood : Tired

Opps... Today is a break from the fustrating and stressful Prelims exams...

Had higher chinese and english paper 1 on monday, Higher chinese and english paper 2 on tuesday... Wonder how badly will I score... Hope that I will not score too badly...

Just had Social Studies and Amaths paper 1 today... Haiz... I think I will score very badly for Amaths as almost all of the questions I do not know how to do... However, for S.S I think I will score better as I did the essay questions 1st...

Anyway, I do not know what to do.... But I will still continue to strive my best on the revision... Ya... Jia you bah...

Current mood >>> Weird

Haha... Today, I am so depressed... haha!!! Seems weird that I am still laughing when I am emo... haha!!! Actually, I am just trying to put on a brave front... So sad right...

My chemistry results got 2/40, which is like.... Haha!!! Such a poor result and I am still laughing... Actually, I mind alot about that results and knew the reason why I am faring so poorly... Haiz...

Another thing is about the changing of seat... Haiz... Why did things come out in this way... Life is so unpredictable and I do not want to predict it... haiz.... Really hate this feeling of mine and decided to work hard and get into a school with either good people orn people with the same interest... haha!!!

Sheryl >>> Really hate the feeling that I am having now... Haiz...










Current mood: awake

Ha... 1st day of the new sitting arrangement... Nothing much happen cause all the lessons are not held in class except for maths... So I changed place with XY.... Ya...

Really wonder why I like to daydream so much these days...Maybe because I like the feeling when my brain need not think anything and I can just stare into blank... Or the feeling when my brain need to sort out some important things and need time on its own... BUT, the most important issue is that I am daydreaming in the wrong timing... Ohhh... Need to change it... Ya...

Another thing that happen today is that we had our photograph taken.. haha... So funny...
Although we are disorganised but we manage to take some beautiful photos... of course in our garden too.. It was so fun till.... When we were taking our group photo, that girl just walk away without telling us... Then she came back and we thought that she went back to class... After taking a few shots, I went to look for her... She was like emoing... I asked her what happen and she is like... if we dun go for HC, maybe our names will be submitted to principle... Therefore, we went... Of course, we apologised to QJ... After the apology, she just went off...

What the hell lah... For sure, I am not going to tolerate her behaviour and will not worry about where she went since she is so self-centred.... I will also not speak bad about her as I am afraid that I will become like her... Ya... Therefore, I think that I will beat her in terms of studies and character.... Ya... Trust myself that I will fulfill this promise of mine and will strive hard for it... Ya..

Sheryl >>> Strive to win those who think you can't

Current mood: frustrated

Haha!!! Today, 4 Justice (of course includes Mr Shoo as he was already part of our class) and Mr Luo went to HSBC treetop walk... Haha!!! It was really tiring and I cried... That's because I am afraid of heights but in order to complete the journey, I had to cross the treetop walk which is like...... Wah!!! I think I cried like siao... I also played prank on my classmates which is like damn fun... But I just thought that I am being inconsiderate... cause I ignored their feelings and played whenever I want... which I think that it is very selfish of me... Ya... Hence, I think that I am going to apologise to them cause I am feeling very guilty now... Haiz... Another thing is that I think that I am too flirt today... OMG!!! Is like really a flirt that I myself cannot take it after I reflected on what I did for today... Wah... Normally, I dun like flirts but I became one myself...
Arrrrh... Going to restrain... Ya... Actually, I did not really learn from this walk as all the introduction and explanations were too tired to hear... That's why, I think that I need to really reconsider myself...

Ya... there is actually another thing that I am bu shuang about... is about the changing of place... wah... It is like damn it lah... Just because of the changing place make me damn bu shuang... I really dun like the sentence lah >>> I dunno!!! Is they decide de...

What the hell lah... If it is really is we decide, then why suggest to change the place lah...May as well not change right... Damn it lah... Make it sound as if we were the ones who want to change the place.... Wah... So damn bu shuang... Arh... Anyway, See how bah... cause tomorrow we will really discuss with the guys and hear their suggestion... Haiz... Nothing to say... really...

Current mood: cranky

Haha!!! Haiz... Feeling weird today...

During the maths lesson, the older sister cried... OMG... I was like dunno what to do so I keep on laughing... Ya... Is like the YS is teaching me, then OS asked her questions but in the end she was ignored... Haiz... Den YS sort of scolded her that she kept ..ing and not thinking... OS was so 委屈，she cried... We were so lost that we did not know what to do and just pass her tissues... After a while, she stopped crying... But YS agitated her again... She cried again... This repeat for around 3 times and we were all very lost.... The 气氛 became very tense...

Phew!!! After a while, things change a little... ya... Hence, it is quite ok... Haha!!!
The happy thing for today is that we were shooting photos for the national day theme, many faces, one picture... Haha!! We were like all posing for the photos to be taken... Ya... However, some parts of the phototaking is very boring... Ya...

Anyway, we are going for hiking tomorrow.... It gonna be exciting... Haha!!! That is because I am going with my class... 4 Justice... haha!!! Love my class A LOT A LOT.... WAH HAHA...

Current mood: depressed

Crap... Life is all about the happenings of crap... For this month of July, Crap stuff have been happening in our class...

Actually, this month should have been a great month... We had raised funds to the Singapore Cancer Society through our little funfair in school... Things have been going through smoothly... Untill...

On the 1st thursday of July, the 1st theft case happened in our class... It happened after our P.E lesson... On the 2nd thursday of July, the 2nd theft case happened in our class... It too happened after our P.E lesson... Actually, at that time, Mr Shoo spoke to us regarding the two theft case and he hoped that there will be no such things again...

However, the sad thing happened once again... The 3rd theft case happened in our class right after our P.E lesson on thursday again... haiz... This time, Mr Shoo is really angry and disappointed with the person or the people who did such things... Haiz... The worst of all is that the person or people is one of our classmates... He lectured us and gave us the super duper disappointed look that many of us were afraid of... haiz...

We did spotchecks and were asked to write down who we suspected or confess the wrongdoings if we did... However, the culprit refuse to own up... Haiz... All these happened during last week... Which is CRAP... ARHHH

Another disciplinary case happened to our class again... One of our classmates got caught by DM for playing DX during Geography lesson today... Wah!!! It is like CRAP lah... All of us were concentrating on the mini test given by Mrs Ess and he is playing games behind... Haha!! Maybe I was too concentrate on doing the test, I did not realise that DM was here before... Haiz...

The whole class were down outside the HOD room after all our remedials... DM spoke to our class and Of course, Mr Shoo speak to us too.... Mr Shoo spoke to us in a disappointing tone with the disappointing look... OMG!! The words that he spoke were like... OMG... I really do not know what to say... Haiz... Tears just dropped down and I can't control it... All seems so uncontrollable... The theft cases and all the stuff around me... They are all so depressing yet I still need to act as if nothing has happen... Remain in a cheerful manner... Sometimes, I really hated myself to be so act... Why can't I just be myself.... Wat the hell lah...

Tears... All I can do is just cry or curse... What else can I do... I seems to be so helpless... I can do nothing and nothing can help me.... What am I supposed to do??? All seems so confusing and I refused to think about it... I can't breathe and wish to end my life here.... However, Life is so PRECIOUS... that's what people always say... haha!!! NOW, it seems like a joke to me...

Sheryl >>> Life is a joke... at least to me at this point of time...

Current mood: pissed off

I do not know how to start... Haiz...

Too many things have been happening in our class this month, July... Been wondering if this month is a bad month for us... Bad things are happening in our class, 4justice...
Theft cases are happening in our class... There are a total of 4 or 5 cases in this month... WC, CH, KL, ZN and I think there is another 1... I am not so sure... These incidents have made our class spirits dropped below what we thought... Everyone begins to suspect one another, pinpointing one another, making each and everyone uncomfortable... Even our form teacher, Mr Shoo, is very disappointed with the one or ones who did all these horrible stuffs...

I am wondering if that one or group of people have any conscience left... He or She or Them, has or have, been in 3/4 Justice class for around 1 year and 7 months... Yet, (he) is able to do such horrible stuff to (his) classmates... Our class is supposed to be a good class where our class spirits are high and many teachers and students have a pretty good impression with our class... Yet, because of such a stupid reason, I think that their views will have a 180 degree change... Is like... Why that person or those people want/s to destroy what we had achieved previously, putting all our hardwork together to achieve such an honour in the school...

Because of those incident, our class have a spot check, yet, the culprit does not wish to own up... Is (he) trying to challenge the class or the school... The whole incident made many girls in our class cried, including me... What my form said touched me a lot... I remembered that he once said, "I will not change my opinion of each and every one of you, my opinion will still be the same as what I wrote in your testimonials and report book..." It is something like that... I was like ... ... Why is he treating us with so much trust when each and everyone of us are suspects of the theft cases...? Haiz...

Sheryl >>> Just hope that that person or those people will change and admit to their mistakes... I trust that no matter what difficulties you all may have, Mr Shoo will try his best to help...

Current mood: worried

好衰的一天！！！ 今天是我见到妈妈那么感性的一天，我才知到原来爱一个人可以那么深！！

爸爸在今天载我上学后遇上车祸！ 在短短的五分钟，禁发生了一场严重的车祸。据爸爸所说，车祸是发生在我学校的路口。当时，有一辆BMW正往爸爸的方向开来。我猜想当时爸爸以为那辆车会让他先开走，对方也以为爸爸会让他先走。因此，两辆车才会撞上。乘客的车门被撞得不成门样，而对方的引擎被撞得变形了。庆幸的是，大家都没有受太大的伤。之后，爸爸也有把这场车祸告诉妈妈。妈妈也有劝爸爸立即去医院做检查，但爸爸却说自己没舍么大艾。

可是，到了下午，爸爸的脊椎开始疼痛，但他还是不要去看医生。真是给他气死了。我是到了傍晚爸爸会来告诉我才知道的。那时，他的背已经很痛了，但为了不让我们担心，他一直坚持不痛。可是，他还是有到家楼下的诊所做检查。之后，医生叫他到Tan Tock Seng Hospital做近一部的检查。他现在还在医院。妈妈也赶过去与他会合。

After this incident, I found out that the love between my dad and mom are so strong. After hearing the accident, my mom can't work at all and wish that she could release early from work as soon as possible. When she came back from work, she asked me about the whole accident, how did it happen, why did it happen, how is my dad condition, where is he, is there any pain that he complain after coming back from work... She was so concerned about dad and wish to rush to the hospital to know more about the situation when she knew that dad was having a check-up there... She almost cried when she was explaining to my aunt about the situation. This is the first time that I know that their love was so strong and my mom is so concerned about my dad... It was so touching at one hand and worrying at the other.

Right now, I am at home waiting for news from my mom about my dad. I wish to know about the results of the report. I had told my brother about the accident and is expecting a call from him... What a day...

Sheryl >>> Life is full of surprises, be it good or bad...

Current mood: depressed

Wah... Today, I am very sad... haiz... What do I do to deserve such treatment... It made me feel so low today... Haiz... Sometimes, it really make me wonder that what person am I in others' point of view.... Haiz...

Anyway, had a long chat with Hui today... Haha!!! It is really a good talk as I talk without any reservation... haha!!! It is so comfortable... I then realised that without to consider that the other party will misunderstand you, it is nice to say it all out without any thoughts if she will be angry or whatsoever... Haha!!!

It is really a troubled day... Haiz... Having a mixed emotions made me feel so confused... I am dreaming almost the whole day after the incident happen... Now, I am feeling really low... Nothing to think about yet alot need me to think about... Haiz... What a confused feeling...
However, I believed that I will be able to overcome it and continue with my own life... Haha!!! Jia You... O'level is coming and make sure nothing distracts me now... Ya... must be like that...no matter what happen.... Ya... Jia you.... You will do it... haha!!! Just be positive towards everything... ya....

Haiz... After all the encouragment, I felt that they are crap lah... Just another way of me comforting myself... What a crap... Anyway, nothing can distract me from studying now, not even online shows or t.v programmes... haha!!! Having DBSK to support me.... haha!!! No Pain No Gain is the motivation song that I will listen everytime I am feeling down... haha!!! Jia you

Current mood: tired

Start of school today... Of course, copying holiday homework is one of the homework at the first day of school... haha!!! What a bad attitude I have towards homework when I am an O'level student this year... Haha!!!

Anyway, I am very tired today as I slept at 12a.m yesterday... I can say that that was a very bad way to start a new term as we are supposed to start afresh... haha!!! Anyway, other than that, maybe another reason was the day before yesterday, I slept at 5a.m in the morning...as I am rushing my homework... All these shows or warns that NEVER DO YOUR HOMEWORK LAST MINUTE... U WILL NEVER FINISH THEM IN 1 OR 2 DAYS...at least for me...

Therefore, i am very tired today and later, in the night, I still need to continue rushing my homework as more are coming... haha!!! My work will never end unless my major exam is over... haha!!!

Sheryl >>> Looking forward to the new term and new results towards my exams...

Current mood: listless

Wah... I am really speechless now... Just type finish a long essay of what had happened and because of an error, it was deleted... Sian... Nothing to say...

Anyway, I think that it is all about friday, 13 and the journey I took with my few friends were pathetic... Around 13 unlucky stars landed around us and made around 13 unlucky event to happen around us... haha!!! What a joke... I do bo wish to re-type unless I have the mood later... ya...

And I have learnt a lesson just a few minutes ago which is always copy and paste your post before it is deleted due to an error..

Current mood: artistic

Wah... Just watch MOONBIRD yesterday... Love that play... It is about Orla, the prince who became deaf after he broke the bubble that the moonchild broke...
It is actually a touching play in the beginning as both the king and the queen were desperate to find a cure for Orla...

Soon after that, I felt the determination of Orla to communicate with the others using hand signs... I then felt that in the society that we are living in now, we often neglect the people around us... We will not notice that the people around us has any disabilty until a period of time... After the play, a lawyer and the author, Joyce were invited on stage to tell us more about or rather explain the play... I do not know how to describe it... However, I felt that the lawyer spoke a sentence which I agree on.. I could not remember the exact sentence, but it is about like that...>>> we will not know if that person has a hearing disabilty until he or she response after we talk to them...

I agree on that, as we will not really know if the people around us is deaf... Anyway, I really agree and love the play.. Haha!!!

Yesterday, it is also the wedding day of my cousin... CONGRATULATION!!!

Current mood: high

Haha!!! Today, whole day damn high... Why?... Cause a lot of things happen within the last 24 hours... haha!!!

- Chat with zhen, min, rat... and later evan... So high lah... during the conversation.. haha... Talking about lots of funny things... for example... about... aiya... nvm... i shall not write it here... But it is really a enjoyable moment with them...

- Got high today when I saw zhen at the school gate.... Talk about what happen last night... Haha!! Got high again... schoolmates passing by thought that we are crazy... cause we are too high in the morning... Haha!!! Min joined in a later time... haha!!! Chat for a while den head back to class again...

- Talk about DBSK in class today... during the 1hour break before maths lesson starts... Haha!! Quite high lah... haha!!! We were like dong bang here, dong bang there... haha!!! They are really SHUAI

- Later during the maths lesson, hui said that she is going to show joy how lame i am in class... cause before that, i drew a very lame picture... We were like so high after that... We were chasing each other about the paper... cause hui is going to show joy the picture i drew... haha!!! Den got really high from den onwards... haha!!!

- Met joy... When to a lot of places today... Bugis, Far East Plaza, Northpoint, den back home... So high throughout.. Wah... haha!! Chat a lot of stuff today... So Shuang... Took neoprint... Ohya... She went to my school and see her brother in training (NCC).... The guys there was like... WAO!!! haha!!!... den a guy, hong, asked for her no... and i am wondering how's their chat going along... haha!!

- before going home, I saw this guy... WEE GUANG... wao... is like wao... so... i gave him a weird look... and he is like smiling back at me... I was wondering if he knows me... haha!!! IT'S SO SURPRISING...

Sheryl >>> I conclude that today is a happy and high day for me... YAY!!!

Current mood: annoyed

wah... i think that i am going back to my old self liao... I didn't finish my homework.... not revising... Arhh... must reflect liao/// dunno what i am thinking nowadays..

dun wan write liao lah.. so sian...

Current mood: ashamed

Sick today... Phew, I did not need to take my O'level chinese today... If I did, I think that I will not have the energy to do the papers... I will then score badly for it... Sometimes, if I knew something was to be done, I should have done it earlier... Haiz!!!

For example, I knew that reading the papers will enable me to learn many new words and gain my general knowledge... I am too proud of myself which is a bad thing for my progress in the hunger of more knowledge... However, after two days of reading, I found out that it help me gain a lot of vocabulary and general knowledge that I did not know in the past...

Wondering how confident my friends had in their papers... If they are as ok as what I had last year or the standard had increase???

Arhhhhhhh.... From now on, I should not wonder or guess in my life... If I do not understand something, I should have ask or confirm it with others... What a failure in life... I took 15+ years to understand such simple dao li in life... Haha!!!

Haiz... I am so regret now as I have wasted today's time as all I did was just sleeping, using the computer for useless stuff and watching drama series again... Haiz... I thought that I could continue what I did yesterday or sometimes, I really wonder if what I did yesterday was just an act of my parents... Haha!!! Such a failure...

I feel so bu shuang that I did not read the newspaper today... Haha!!! I think that I need to read it before I sleep today... I think that that is a promise to myself and hope that I will be able to fufill it... If I am able to do it, I will see it as taking out the first step to my success to my O'level studies... Haha!!!... Jia You bah...

Sheryl >>> Promise are just plain words unless you prove it with actions...

May 24, 2008 - Saturday

Current mood: accomplished

My internet was disconnected for the past few days which made me unable to online.. It was pretty a sad case for me but due to that, I am sleeping quite early for those days... It really helps in boosting my energy...

Quarrelled with a stupid person which I loathed since that day. The sad thing to me is that he refused to admit that he did something wrong. He kept thinking that due to his familly background, no one will blame him for what he does and so on. The worst of all is that he is able to pretend that nothing had happened on the following day. He is really hopeless...

Went to watch my juniors yesterday... Zhen, Yi and me went to NP yesterday as we were waiting for our time-slot to have the parent-teacher meeting session. Had a pretty good chat with the CIs as usual and saw my Sec 1s suffering due to some misbehaviour... I was thinking if I was the one giving them punishment, I will be worst than them.... Haha!! What a cruel thought....

Had parent-teacher meeting yesterday... Almost got my internet access cancel but my cable t.v was cancelled in exchange of it... Haiz... But it was alright as it made me have more times for my studies... Haha!!! I quarrelled with my mum after the meeting with my subject teachers. She simply cannot understand the importance of the internet access in the 21st centuary... Haiz... Anyway, I am having a cold war with her...

Pretty happy today... I started reading the newspaper that my dad bought today. The 1st article that I read was about the dispute between Singapore and Malaysia over the Pedra Branca. Singapore had sovereignty over Pedra Branca and Malaysia, Middle Rocks. After which, I went to read some news regarding the rescuework at Sze Chuan... I went to do some Physics work which Mr Shoo had the link to at his webpage...Writing my feelings at here now... Haha!!! Wait... Forgot to mention that I watch this documentary named, "Jesus: The Missing History." It is about some questions that evidences does not link with what the bible said. It was the so called investigation about what had actually happened in the past.

Going to some form of relaxation before coming back to work again...

May 19, 2008 - Monday

Current mood: bored

Haha!!! Long time no blog liao...

Recently, I felt that I am becoming more niang... So niang that I think I couldn't stand it myself if I was in the past... I began to take fancy of some clothings that I would not even glance at them in the past... Just hope that it is a good sign...

Actually, zhen, lin, yi and me are planning to go to Kbox on some day but our schedules keep clashing with the days that were planned a while ago... Everytime we planned to go, at least 1 will say that they have something on that day... What does this shows? We are not fated to go to Kbox... However, I do not believe in fate taking control of our lives but I believe in us taking control of it... Haha!!! Hence, going to make a chance that we can go... haha!!! Jia You...

Few seconds ago, I got this thought coming to my mind... That is... I am really not a good friend to have... Why? I just realised that I do not know my friends well... When I was in primary school, I often asked the friends around me regarding about what they like, dun like and so on... However, in secondary school, I began to overlook such things and assumed that what they liked is the same as me... I then realised that such simple acts actually can help me to understand friends around me better... haha!!!! So stupid of me to think of it now... But i believe that it is not the end... Jia you

Current mood: blah

Just finish my Geography and Chinese Language Paper 2 today...

Cause I never really go study the topics in the Geography textbook, den I am very frustrated this morning... Then when I saw the paper, I was like... OMG.. I dunno how to do lah... I really regret not to study and go back to Malaysia lah... So sian... Den nvm... Is like over liao... I am not thinking of the upcoming Chemistry paper that I have to take lah... So sian... Haha!!! But nvm... Jia you will do... Haha!!!

Must study liao... haha!!! O'levels examination is coming le... Jia You

Current mood: jubilant

Arhhhhhh.... Tomorrow is labour day... Going to study until like siao...My brother has come back from his field camp/// he will be using the computer till sunday... Hope that by that time, I am still able to use the computer and the internet... haha!!!
Nothing really to say liao... Recently, trying to watch the meteor garden again... and practising one of the hana kimi character... I forget about his name liao... But he can see the aura of the people around him... Like a good and bad aura... Haha!!! So fun lah....

April 23, 2008 - Wednesday

Current mood: fabulous

Yesterday, after the assembly talk, we were asked to stay back for a while by Ms Balan... She spoke something about William Shakespeares and we need to do some research on him...

After some research on him, I found out that the sonnets he wrote and the play he wrote were so profound... The famous plays that he wrote includes Hamlet, Romeo and Juliet, Othello and many others... The sonnets that he wrote were so profound that I do not even know what they meant until I saw the explanation of the sonnets...

In class today, we had to answer questions about him, his history, tragedies that he wrote... All his informations that our class provides help me gained a lot of knowledge of him... I am really sad that our badge could not study the tragedies wrote by William Shakespeares... Ms Balan let us watch a play of the combination of all the plays that Shakespeares wrote... They put it in a funny way which made our class laugh even though there were some which is supposed to be tragedies...

I have gained a lot through the activities and this is one of the sonnet that he wrote...

SONNET 75

So are you to my thoughts as food to life,
Or as sweet-season'd showers are to the ground;
And for the peace of you I hold such strife
As 'twixt a miser and his wealth is found;
Now proud as an enjoyer and anon
Doubting the filching age will steal his treasure,
Now counting best to be with you alone,
Then better'd that the world may see my pleasure;
Sometime all full with feasting on your sight
And by and by clean starved for a look;
Possessing or pursuing no delight,
Save what is had or must from you be took.
Thus do I pine and surfeit day by day,
Or gluttoning on all, or all away.

The explanation :

PARAPHRASE OF SONNET 75

As food is to the body so are you to my soul and mind,
Or as spring showers are to the ground;
And for the contentment you bring me I allow such inner strife
As the conflict between a miser and his money;
Who takes joy in his wealth, but soon
Fears that ruthless competitors will steal his treasure,
Now thinking it best to have you alone,
Then thinking that the world should see how happy I am;
At one moment wholly satisfied by feasting on your sight
And the next moment utterly starved for a look at you:
Having or seeking no pleasure
Except what you have given me or what I will demand.
And so I starve or feed to excess depending on the day,
Either gorging on you, or not having you at all.

Thats all....

Current mood: determined

Haven been blogging for quite a long time for me... Lots of thoughts that can't be put into words////

Been thinking quite a lot these days... Been through the days when I wanted to give up my studies, give up the chance to take the O'level... Been through the days when I am overstressed by nothing... Been through the days when I do not know what I want for life... Been through the days when I am a failure in anything and everything I do... Been through the days where I quarrelled with my family for nothing and for everything...

Been through a lot and seems that I had grew mature... Hope that I had sorted out all my thoughts... I think that my mindset had changed to the O'level mood... I have and must work hard as I am taking my important examination this year... I must not let my dad down, Mr Shoo down and most importantly, MEEEEE... Therefore, I must and need to work hard for my future...

Sheryl >>> The future is in your hands...

Today, is also the starting of the mid-year examination... I had my English paper 1 and Social Studies paper today... I do not know the results of both paper and I think that I can say that I have put in at least a little effort to the papers... I must not be arrogant to say that I will do well in those paper... However, at least I can say to myself that >>> Ha... At least you managed to put in a little effort of yours to both the paper... Now, I need to work hard on my Chemistry and Physics... Haha!!!

That's the end... The paper for tomorrow is Chinese paper 1 and English paper 2... That's the end... I am going for my shower and hopefully able to study some Chemistry and Physics..... ........

Bye

Current mood: nerdy

Today is a test day...

Starting of the 1st two period, I had a higher chinese test...
3rd and 4th period, I had a literature test...
5th period is recess...
6th period was meant to be studying Chemistry...
7th period, Chemistry test...
after which there is a Social Studies lesson and assembly...
Had physics remedial after school...
I had test again...

So sian... Test and test again...

However, due to all these test, I gained something new...

Sheryl >>> Never be complacent with what you achieve, always strive for improvements

Current mood: triumphant

Haha!!! Today during the assembly, Mrs Ram showed us the photos of the Sec 1s camp this year... It brings me lots of jealousy about the camp as every year, Sec 4s do not get to participate in the activities... During those three days, we were attending the career seminar in school... It was so boring...

After which, two Sec 3s were asked to give presentation about their camp this year... They had a military camp which I think that was fun... I wonder what sort of activities they went through... Haiz... If I am in Sec 3 this year...

Haha!!! Today, I change the attitude towards Mr Ho... cause he let us refresh our memories of the camp last year.... I remembered that it was so fun together with 4Justice, Mr Shoo and two trainer... Haha!!! We were like playing and trying our best to complete all the task given to us... We were like so serious in completing some of the task and through the teamwork of our class, we managed to complete them... The sense of achievement was so great...

I am so proud of MY CLASS, 4 JUSTICE... It ROX!!! haha!!!

As for today, nothing really special happen... or is just that I do not remember them le...

Sheryl >>> I AM SO PROUD OF 4 JUSTICE...

Current mood: angry

Haiz.. Today is a very emotional day for me...

I just quarrelled with my mother and my brother... They were simply unreasonable...
Know what??? My biological mother refused to give me money for me to take my O'levels... One of the important major examination that many are required to take... It concerns about me future and yet she did not care... She just said a sentence that hurt me... " What for I give you the $405? You are just wasting my hard-earned money!" What the hell....

She added if I wanted to stop schooling since I am giving her the bo chap attitude about studying for my O'levels... What the hell lah!!! Ya! Give all your money to support the stupid elder brother who plays computer all day long... If I am hopeless, he is no better than me...

What the hell/// You think that by confiscating the laptop or setting password the the computer, you can stop me from acessing to the internet? What a wishful thinking... I will get my ways to continue to use the computer as it has all the data i need for my mid-year...

If you all continue to stop me from using or getting the information I need, I may just quit school and stop taking the O'levels... But I will not let you wish come true... Just watch... I will be sucessful in my life and You shall not share with me the joyful moments

Current mood: high

Today is the actual speech day of the school... I had practised for around 2 - 3 weeks if I am not wrong... I still remember the time when I was reluctant to go and was asked to see Mr Iszal... Haha!!! But I am really glad that I did not quit that time, cause it was a wonderful experience... Haha!!!However, I am very sad because this was the actual parade that we had for the last time... The last time we can get to wear uniform... The last time we can march proudly in a parade of the school... The last time we are joining the activities of NPCC... All ends today...

We went to the mac today from 12.... to around 5.30... I am so surprised that we can chat for so long with the two CIs... haha!!! Especially with a very zhuai guy... But I dun think he is now for just a short period of time bah... Dunno lah!!!

Recently, there is always someone asking us if we are coming back as a CI... haha!!! So funny lah!!! Maybe some of us are not interested including me.... But I think that they should go and approach them like Jocelyn... I think that she is still interested in being a CI... haha!!!

We chatted for a long time, all about NPCC leh... So funny... We talk for so long yet not all the things are covered... I was said to be long winded... So sian... But I think that it is cool lah...!!! Moreover, Evan came today lah... It was like so surprising lah!!! I got pinched by Huey Chin cause we both believe that we are just dreaming when we saw him... However, in the end, he came for an award that he is very proud of... Haha!! So paiseh...

I think that is all bah... I cannot remember anything liao... All is so confusing for me... I think I have a mental-blocked now... Ya...

Sheryl >>> Stop imagine that you are imaginating

Current mood: argumentative

Wonder what happen yesterday???I was sick yesterday and I went to see the doctor by myself... And you know what, the doctor thinks that I am faking the illness myself... What the hell lah!!! I was like coughing mad at home and I felt a tightness in my chest lah... I think I almost die at home if I never go and have my treatment... Wah... Anyway, because of that, I did not go to school yesterday...

Today...At the start of the day, I heard that my P.E teacher got heart attack and had to stay in hospital... OMG!!! This is like so serious lah... I got shocked because such a healthy person, I assume, can have a heart attack... It taught me a lesson that life are fragile so cherish it when you can... As usual, I have my speech day rehearsal today... It was quite Ok just that I am a bit mad at one of the CI, zheng jie... Dunno why, maybe still because of the sword thing bah...

Anyway, I just damn bu shuang when he is giving us commands even though we are supposed to listen... Anyway, I think that I have really show my attitude towards him lah... And I admit it...
After the parade rehearsal, we had a drill time... That part is too long for me to say and write them down...I just go straight to the highlights of today...

One of my cadetmates scolded Sec 3s that they are the worst badge of NCOs that he had ever seen... Damn him lah!!! In what postion he is to comment on them... What the hell lah!!! Nvm... Den most of the Sec 3s give attitude... Den is like chaos... Because of that, I even quarrel with him and my CI lah... I think that he almost want to punch me liao just that cause i am a female, he hold it back... Nvm... cause at that time, I really have a feeling to punch him right at his face lah... Imagine that... OMG... What a thought I have... Nvm...

Now, I wondered how the CIs are going to solve this conflict lah!!! It is like so compilcated... Haha!!! What a great mess we have created for the CI to solve... But anyway, tomorrow is the actual speech day... Hope that it will be a success and the conflict will be solve by tomorrow...

Sheryl >>>> Jia You... DBSK hwaiting!!!! Sheryl hwaiting!!!!

Current mood: sick
I am very sick today... I think that one day, i may cough out some blood and just die...

Have a very bad cough and flu... Keep going to the toilet in school and i think others may think that i have some bladder problems... So sad and tired of that too...

Have speech day rehearsal today... So tiring... Keep repeating the same thing... all the stuffs...

cannot write anymore... I think i will die soon... going to sleep le...

Current mood: sick

Haiz... so sick today...

Yesterday, I got a very serious flu... Arrh... Till now haven recover from it yet...
So sian...

Went to HTA yesterday to collect the no.1 uniform for the speech day parade...

No mood to continue to write le... Need go and rest liao

Current mood: angsty

Went to bishan stadium today to attend the sports day event

Together with Xin Hui, we were watching the events closely

1st year to really cheer on my schoolmates... though had attended it for the past 3 years
Pretty exciting...

So angry that the cadets who wore NPCC uniform...

Wondering if they still know the basic rule of NPCC

When wearing full uniform, NO SWEET DRINKS, NO TUCKING OUT THE SHIRT, WEAR IT WITH RESPECT AND HONOUR...

FULL UNIFORM IS SOMETHING THAT WE SHOULD RESPECT AND NOT DISGRACE IT IN FROM OF THE WHOLE SCHOOL AND OTHER UNIFORM GROUPS

April 9, 2008 - Wednesday

Current mood: adventurous

Went to the bukit timah nature reserve again... This is the 3rd time that I am going to the reserve within a short period of time... Haha!!!

Today, it was a bit sian cause the Sec 2s are like not very enthusiastic... It was quite sad cause the plants and insects there are so nice... I lost my interest in explaining lah... Haiz, dun talk about it anymore le...

After the hike, I went to eat prata with Mr Shoo and some of my classmates... It was so fun eating together... The owner of the shop was so happy to see us together ordering their food as it will bring a lot of income from us...

Anyway, the food is nice... I enjoy eating a lot especially the prata ice-cream...Haha!! I am such a glutton as I am still eating my dinner now... I think that I will gain around 1kg within this month... haha

Sheryl >>> Cherish every moment with the people around you

Current mood: smart

Just found this notebook at my computer desktop... It was a notebook for my brother NS training... Its is about teambuilding...

It says that Leadership - Lessons from Geese

Objective - How relying on others promotes the goals of the team

Fact 1
As each goose flaps its wings, it creates an "uplift" for the birds that follow. By flying in a "V" formation, the whole flock adds 71% greater flying range than if each bird flew alone.

Lesson
People who share a common direction and sense of community can get where they are going quicker and easier because they are traveling on the thrust of each other.

Fact 2
When a goose falls out of formation, it suddenly feels the drag and resistance of flying alone. It quickly moves back into formation to take advantage of the lifting power of the bird immediately in front of it.

Lesson
If we have as much sense as a goose, we stay in formation with those headed where we want to go. We are willing to accept their help and give our help to others.

Fact 3
When the lead bird tires, it rotates back into the formation to take advantage of the lifting power of the bird immediately in front of it.

Lesson
It pays to take turns doing the hard tasks and sharing leadership. As with geese, people are interdependent on each others’ skills, capabilities, and unique arrangements of gifts, talents, or resources.

Fact 4
The geese flying in formation honk to encourage those up front to keep up their speed.

Lesson
We need to make sure our honking is encouraging. In groups where there is encouragement, the production is much greater. The power of encouragement (to stand by one’s heart or core values and to encourage the heart and core values of others) is the quality of honking we seek

Fact 5
When a goose gets sick, wounded, or shot down, two geese drop out of formation and follow it down to help and protect it. They stay with it until it dies or is able to fly again.. Then, they launch out with another formation or catch up with the flock

Lesson
If we have as much sense of the geese, we will stand by each other in difficult times as well as when we’re strong.

I think that all that lessons make a lot of sense to me... Its all about teamwork in this world... A person could never complete a task given by others without teamwork... I am still in the process of learning on how to build the team spirits in the team. It will definitely helps the team to increase in power if the team spirits is high... Teamwork...

Haha!!! So funny about why am I writing about this topic... It was mainly because of the sentence that my mdm said, " Think about the unnecessary quarrels that happened in your squat"Just then, I felt that all the quarrels happened because we lacked of teamwork and all the miscommunication... I just realised that all the quarrels are really a waste of our time due to some minor problems... Over the four years, we didn’t really solve the problem and continue to rotate in the vicious cycle... That is one of the bad mistake that we didn’t correct it FOR FOUR YEARS... It is so sad...

Current mood: blah

Haha!!!Today, I had my NAFA test... I think that it was a failure... So sad lah...
However, my sit & reach was considered the best this time... With the help of Xin Hui, I managed to get a C for it... haha!!!

Now, I am trying to upload all the photos into photobucket... There are a few hundred of them lah... Sian...

Current mood: okay

For now, I am wondering if I should come back as a CI to MFNPCC… However, my rank is only sergeant which made my chances even lower… Moreover, I want to go to a junior college to study as my goals require me to do so…

Sian… The standards of being a CI posed no challenge to me… I do not want to be so thick-skinned as to nominate myself to the CIs and Mr Iszal… I am not sure about that… Does Jocelyn still want to be a CI…? What is our chances to be one??? Will we be chosen as one by the CIs…? I am all not sure about that… Being a CI requires a lot of responsibility… It will need to take up some of my time… However, being a CI means that there will be time to be spent with the cadets… This seems worthwhile for me… I am not sure… Arhhhhhh!!!

Dun care so much le… Just do what I am supposed to do now and concentrate on my O’levels… Now that my CCA is all over and I need not attend any trainings except speech day rehearsal, I have no more excuses to say that I am tired and have no mood to study… Haha!!! Jia You…

I am going to make a rule… If I give myself anymore excuses, I am going to slash my arm once… That is real serious as I am a person who is afraid of pain… I am never going to do anything that will harm my body… That is why I am making such a big promise… Jia You… You can do it…

Current mood: blank

After the passing out parade, we were asked to assemble at the stairs near the side gate… We chatted about all the feelings we had in NPCC and I cried during that time… It was so embarrassing… I am still so sad when I recalled the memories of that and the memories I had in the four years in MFNPCC… Arhhhhhh!!!

We were asked to close our eyes by Amirah Mdm…She played a very sad music and asked us to recall back the days from Sec 1 till Sec 4… All the wonderful memories we spent as a squat together and all the unnecessary quarrels that we had… I broke down the second time…and I knew that they themselves were crying too… I then thought that all the discriminations between the squat were just rubbish… If I had a chance to return to the old days, I would never allow such things to happen again… However, this was not possible… We cried as we recalled… All the memories that I had and all the trainings that we went through… All that had to be a past, only memories in the past… Haiz…

After all the tears, we went to take lots of photos with our cadets and CIs… I felt that we were like superstars or animals in the zoo… Lots of sec 1s cadets were like taking out their handphones and takings pictures of us… Haha!!! We spent around two hours of posing and smiling for the shooting… haha!! I think there were around hundreds of shoots in total… I promised to collect them all and post it in my own blog… This photos will not be lost at all… Not even a single piece… This are all the happy memories that I have…

Current mood: grateful

Those were complains that I had about that parade… As for now, I had to refresh all the memories, gratitude’s and some sorry that I had towards the whole unit…

NPCC was considered to be my 3rd home… 1st was my actual home, 2nd was the school, 3rd was NPCC, 4th was the house that only some of us knew about… Before the date of leaving NPCC was told to me, I kept looking forward to the date for us and me to leave… However when the date, 5th April, came nearer, memories of NPCC came to my mind and everything seems so fresh to me…

I was actually being inspired from my brother to join the NCC… However, as Mayflower NCC does not take in female cadets, that thought of mine had to be forgotten… In the end, during the Sec 1s CCA orientation, I was lured in to NPCC by the cool uniform which is blue (my favourite colour) and the lousy rifle that the unit had... I thought that the rifle was cool at that point of time… How foolish I am!!! Haha!!!

During the 1st parade, we had to play a game which I had forgotten about the name… One of the NCOs shouted 1x 0; I thought that answer was 1… Haha!!! I was very shocked at that time about why no one ran out… I asked the person beside me, "I thought the answer was 1… Why no one ran out?" She replied me in a very confused face, "the answer for 1 x 0 was 0, which was why no one ran out…" Later, we had a slight argument before I found out that she was correct… Haha!!! She asked me what class am I in and I replied that I am in 1Justice. (1 Justice is an express class) She doubted me about the truth that I am in 1J at that time. (That was what she told me later on when we were really chatting a lot). However, nothing really happen between us and we became very good friends in the end… Her name is HUEY CHIN… Haha!!! What a unique way of knowing each other…

As for JOCELYN and MIN YI, I had forgotten how we knew each other… So sorry about that… I must admit that we had spent a really wonderful time together in NPCC and in school… We created troubles for the ex-NCOs together, fooled around in NP together, marched together, cursed together, cried together, played together, take the blame together, defended each other 1st when things happen and did lots of things together… We always helped one another together and are all willing to sacrifice for each other… Even though sometimes we had little quarrels, we were able to solve it quickly and the next day, we were all OK… That’s what our relationships and our friendships are… It was really a great memory to cherish for the rest of my life… Sometimes after the KPOs that we like to be, we would always ask each other this question… Why are we so KPOs to help the others to do their jobs and what we get in return was all the scolding from the Sirs and Mdms…? However, this reflection is of no use to us… We continue to help others to do things without claiming any rewards and continue to take the blame when things happen… Haha!!! I think that that is what we are… Jia You!!! Wishing you all and myself the best for our upcoming O’levels…

Next, I would want to express my feelings to the CIs that had taken care of us in NPCC… Without them, I think that we will still be nothing… Our CI in charge is EVAN, our sec 1 NCOs cum CI now is ZHENG JIE, our forever helping hand is AMIRAH and two other CIs who is SYAHID AND JUN BAO… The two other ex-CI are ZHI LUN and RICHARD… They are of great advisor to us about what we should do as NCOs…

Evan, our CI in charge, is sort of our mother to the four of us… Even though he rarely come to attend our parade and only come when there are some big events going on, we were still grateful for that… He always made our parade an enjoyable one even though there is one which we were really unhappy about… We would always joke around with him and all the lame things of us will all come out of us… He are really a cute guy that all of us agreed on… Haha!!! He always care for our feelings and always spare a thought for us… The only time that we will be serious and scared about him was when he are in your full uniform drilling us… When he are wearing that uniform, he seems to be so strict and scary to us… Does he know that the rest of them were very scared when they knew that he were giving them the promotion test? Maybe it was because of the sergeant test that they took before… I heard that he was very strict and fierce that day.
However, it was a relief for them after he smile when they pleaded him not to be so fierce as that was the last parade yesterday… Haha!!! When he is in his P.T kit, we dare to joke with him only if we knew that we were not going to be scolded by him or at the start of the parade… However, I really do not remember any incident that he really scolded us except for that one… He always try to give us positive comments about our trainings… We were really grateful for that… Haha!!! I do not know for my other cadet mates but I know that Evan bears a lot of meaning in the hearts of ours. (Min Yi, Lai Di, Huey Chin & Jocelyn)… Thanks a lot for all the wonderful memories that you gave us and all the teachings that you taught us throughout the days…

Zheng Jie, our Sec 1s NIC & one of our CI currently, was named RAT by us… As we thought that he really resembled a rat and his display picture in MSN is also a hamster, we named him RAT… He really likes to act cool a lot which we still couldn’t figure out why till now… I had so many questions to ask him… 1) Why does he like to act cool so much… 2) Does that help to build a good image in front of others? 3) Does he really understand what we are trying to say to him? 4) If he understand, why doesn’t he answer our questions directly? 5) Does he really enjoy in our lame conversation with him? 6) Do he really like the two Mdms of ours? 7) Do you think that all the photos that we took with him are just...? 8) Does he feel happy to see us when he returns to the unit as a CI? 9) Does he see any improvements in us from the moment he came back as a CI till yesterday? That are only some of the questions that I really wish to ask him… For me, he seems to be always acting cool and does not like to talk to anyone… Maybe that was because of Evan bah… The feelings that Evan gave me is always so friendly but for Zheng Jie, he is so difficult to chat with… I know that this is unfair for me to compare both of them as different people have different personality but I cannot help it… So sorry for that… However, I just found out that he is actually a lame guy when Evan is around… He tends to joke quite a bit and feels more comfortable when Evan is around… (Are they really together??? Better not or many girls are going to cry their hearts out but not me) Haha!!!

Amirah, the always helping hand to us (NCOs), is really a great CI… She always save us out of the difficult situation and always help us without any grumbling… She is really a great mentor to us as she will always the one who guides us through the tough journey and always the one who tries to understand our feelings about something… She always spare a thought of our feelings even when we did something wrong… She is like the healer of our scars when we were hurt by some events happening in NPCC… Without her guidance, the annual camp that I and Jeremias organized will be a total failure… She always take care of the difficult stuffs that we had to face when we pleaded her… She rarely says NO to out request… She is really a great Mdm… She seems to be in really good terms with that Sir… Haha!!!

For Zhi Lun, thanks for all the coaching before Evan came to take over… You taught us a lot of things too… Even though we had some unhappy events (which my memories of them are quite blur), we still respect you a lot…

THANKS FOR ALL THE COACHINGS THAT YOU ALL GAVE TO US DURING THE DAYS IN MFNPCC… YOU ALL GAVE US LOTS & LOTS OF WONDERFUL MEMORIES AS WE HAD BEEN THROUGH A LOT TOGETHER… THANKS FOR EVERYTHING & I WILL ALWAYS REMEMBER THE NAMES OF YOURS AND ALL THE WONDERFUL EVENTS IN MFNPCC… I CANNOT REALLY EXPRESS MY GRATITUDE TOWARDS YOU ALL… THE ONLY TWO WORDS ARE THANK YOU!!!

Current mood: disappointed

Yesterday, I went to Mayflower NPCC for the last official parade with my whole unit… I had my promotion test which seems to me as sympathy for the passing out parade… I can say that I did not do my best for my sergeant rank as I did not even study at all… I treated it as my last time wearing my full uniform officially even though I still had a speech day parade… Haha!!! I treated the parade as my last time with my Sec 1 cadets and all the memories I had in MFNPCC to the end…

We had to arrive in school at around 7.30a.m when the parade starts at 8.00a.m… As I did not polish my boots the last night, I asked Min Yi and Huey Chin to accompany me to the toilet to polish it… It was the last parade; hence, I want to ensure that everything is fine… After which, we were asked to fall in for our promotion test…

Oh ya!!! On Tuesday night, I was online chatting with one of my Cadet Inspector (CI) rat… I was asking him who is taking us for the parade on Saturday which was yesterday… He kept beating about the bush, refused to reveal who is our in-charge on that day… At that moment, I felt like killing him with some weapons… He was so annoying that he keep asking me to check the schedule on the notice board… Oh please!!! If I had that patience to wait till the next day, will I need to ask you??? RAT… The only funny thing that I remembered was that Min Yi and I had to use the magic word to ask him to answer to our questions…. (Min Yi was added into the conversation later) The magic word was RAT!!! RAT!!! Haha!!! That was the only funny thing that I remembered about the conversation….

Then the night before the parade, I was again chatting with rat about details of our last official parade… As I had forgotten to see the schedule on the notice board, I asked him for it… I asked him if there is time for us to take the Sec 1 squat for drills and a little chat… We sort of discuss it but there will be no results as RAT is someone who will not answer to your questions directly or even ignore your questions… He sends me the schedules of the NCOs and Sec 1s… After comparing the both schedules, I found out that there is no time for us to take the Sec 1 squat… After which, I asked him if there is a way for me not to take the sergeant test and he said NO… Taking the test means that there is no chance for me to take the Sec 1s… Sian…

Back to Saturday…

I am damn fed up when I was asked to join the Sec 3s for my sergeant test… What the hell!!! I just want to do drills with my cadet mates for the last time and they do not want to give me that chance… Never mind!!! It made me really lost the interests to take the test further… The 1st test was to take the 1st Aid theory test… I did not learn about 1st Aid at all…Hence, I do not know what to answer for the structured questions… As for the MCQs section, I had to answer based on my guess and some luck… Of course, I did not pass the test for sure… One of the CI whom should not be named tried to help me by asking me the answer for the questions again… I was telling him that it was of no use as if I knew the answer, I would have written it down beforehand… However after that conversation, he told me that he knew what to do with it in order to let me pass… Haha!!! Thanks for that!!!

Another thing that made me fed up was that one of the Sec 3s said that that was the reason why our squat is better than your squat… What the hell!!! What makes you think so…? With that, I am really keen to see if they can perform the roles of NCOs far better than us… Under what circumstances made him say that??? One of them asked me why I need to join their squat for the test… I replied that it was because I am still a CPL as you all can see and I was sick on the day my cadet mates took the sergeant test… After which, he spoke that bloody hell sentence which made me damn bu shuang…

Never mind… When we were preparing for the muster parade, one of the CI was giving out instructions to the Sec 3s of what are they going to do later after we passed out… He was saying, "Later when the NCOs marched out, you all need to listen to what the 2nd in command says." One of the Sec 3 blurted out, "I thought we were already NCOs." What the hell!!! We had not official passed out yet and you all are treating yourselves as NCOs… What the hell!!! Then before we POP, what do you guys consider us as??? EX-NCOs, CADETS or WHAT!!! Can anyone answer me that questions… I am so angry with that…

Never mind… Remember that I had written that I want to have some time to spend with my Sec 1s cadets… I pleaded that RAT for so many times to let me take the squat for sometime… And his replies were always the same meaning… Go and take your test seriously or wait till your tests finishes… WHAT THE HELL!!! By the time, my test had finished, it was the time for our last muster parade lah!!! I am so damn bu shuang that time that I really want to bash him up… ARHHHHHH!!! I pleaded him so much… In the end, this is what happen… ARHHHHHHH!!!!
However, nothing really happen to ease my anger… I just forgets all about it and only remember when Min Yi asked me about that after all the fun we had a few moments before… Haha!!! I felt that I am such a failure to remember such important stuffs… But that doesn’t really matters anymore… I had already passed out from NPCC…

Sheryl >>> Cherish what you have now and leave no regrets when you had to let it go…

Current mood: listless

Today, after morning assembly, we were asked to stay back in the hall to listen to a small talk by Mrs Doris Lim, my principal...

She said a lot of stuffs... but I chose not to write down here...

Anyway, I was thinking about my future during maths lesson... Haha!!! But I was paying attention too... I was thinking, what am I going to do when I graduate... What am I going to do if my results will bring me nowhere... haha!!!

I think that I am a very ill-disciplined person... I cannot stop myself from all the temptations at home... All the nice T.V programmes and the cyber world at home... Haiz... What should I do??? I should go and study in my room but I am not... I should go and revise my sciences as I have around 40 something topics to study... For my maths, I have to practice my Amaths and Emaths which is sort of a torture to me... Wat should I do??? I should study...

I dunno wat to do ... Should I study or I should give myself up... I dunno wat to do... I should go do my notes on my notebook le... Jia You...

Sheryl >>> What am I going to do with my wasted life...

Current mood: infuriated

Omg!!! Today I went to the speech day rehearsal...

I slack the whole rehearsal as I think that I just didn’t fit into the whole situation... So sad case... I am very bored during the speech day rehearsal... Maybe that is due to the lack of interest in the speech day bah.... I am so damn bored that I had chatted with around seven people during that two and a half hour of the rehearsal... So sad... I think that I am really... haiz... Nothing to comment...

I am stepping down two days later... However, the funny thing is that we are having promotion test on that day... I was thinking, ’what the hell are we having our promotion test when we are stepping down on that day’... It is like so funny... After taking the rank, we have our POP... Haha!!! What a sarcastic way of driving us away from NPCC...

I am so sad and angry today with the sarcastic remarks that my juniors said to me... Huh!!! You want me to teach you mah!!! What the hell!!! My drills are definitely better than any of yours lah... I am so damn bu shuang... What the hell lah!!! Tell you what... Dun come and talk rubbish to me lah!!! I am your senior after all... Damn it lah... So angry about it...

Sheryl >>> Never look down on yourself or others will look down on you too

Current mood: fascinated

Haha!!! Today, I went to the bukit timah natural reserve again... I went there last Friday for a pre-session with Mr Shoo... It was so fun... I actually found new things that I might overlooked the last Friday... However, this time we had to guide along nine sec 2s people together with Lin Ying... It was so fun trying to explain to them about the nature around us...

As we are not biologist and I did not study biology, I was quite confused about the species of the plants that were explained by Mr Shoo before... I tried my best to explain to them what I know together with the help of Lin Ying...

I am very surprised by the changes that occurs in nature... As I had said before, last Friday, I went to the hike for a pre-session... It changed quite a lot from what we knew last week... Some plants died during the weekends or some things happened to them... I could not find some of the plants that Mr Shoo introduced to us the last Friday... What I can conclude from this trip is that nature waits for no one... Nature changes so fast that no man could stop them... It is a very cool stuff for me... haha!!! Learning trip is so fun...

I had learnt a lot of the plants in Singapore and I had even see a eagle’s nest on the emergent tree... It is so fun to learn all the facts through learning journey and humorous way... Haha!!!
I have really enjoyed the trip... Haha!!! It is so fun... I am going for it the next Wednesday too... haha!!! I think that I am in love with nature now... OMG... Nature is so ... I LOVE it...

Current mood: depressed

So sad today!!! I heard from my cadetmate that today is my last parade with the sec 1s... Haiz, so sad to hear the news that I need to part with them so early in the year... Although I am the bad guy cause I am the one who always punished them, I still miss them a lot... I do not know what they think of me, but I sincerely say that they are a discipline squat... Overall, their learning abilities are quite high... Haiz...

So angry today when I found out that we need to step down so early... I was wondering if we are really such a failure that we are not needed in the unit... I can really say that I have done quite a lot to the unit even though sometime I mess it up... I feel so fed up when we are only being acknowledged as NCOs only starting of the year 2008 when we need to organise the camp...
Even though we are supposed to take over the squat last year after the June holidays, we are acknowledged as seniors and not NCOs... Just after being NCOs for around 4 months, we had to step down... Haiz...

I am really fed up with the arrangements... They do not respect or acknowledge the stuffs that we did for the unit... I was wondering if I am qualified as a CI... Now I hope to be one even though it will take up quite a lot of my time... I dunno lah... I still dunno the requirements for the CI but I hope to be one now... Sian...

Going to try to have the mood for the homework liao

Sheryl >>> Be determined in what you do and you will succeed for sure...

Current mood: rejuvenated

Haiz... I have a tiring weekend this week... On thursday, during my P.E lesson, it was very tiring... Other classes had their trial run for the actual 2.4km run while we had training for the actual 2.4km run... So sad... But I know that me P.E teacher is trying to make all of us pass for the 1st 1... haha!!! We ran the whole field just for warming up... Omg... It was quite ok for the 1st time... After which, our class were spilt into boys and girls team. The guys ran half of the field 1st with time limit of 40sec... After they finish their run, the girls team ran for 55sec but we made it in 45sec... This continues for three times and girls always made it in 45sec... So proud of it... Haha!!!!

After the run, we had a break before we start another activities... We were asked to run up the stairs to level 3 (the stairs near the general office) and down the stairs to level 1 (the stairs nearest to the parade square)... We were asked to run three times with a limit of time... Arh... After the two activities, I am damn tired... However, I find that my stamina has improved quite a lot...

On friday, I went to the Bukit Timah nature reserve for a hike with some of my classmates and my form teacher, Mr Shoo... We were there to learn about the plants and the natural habitat in the tropical rainforest cause we need to explain to the sec 2s about the plants on 3 april... It was fun but tiring... When we were about to return to the visitor centre, rain started pouring down... Even though we were wet due to the rain but it was so fun... Haha!!! I had a regret after our return. I regretted not to wear trackpants during the hike as I had many mosquitoes bit in return...

Yesterday, I went out with my best friend in primay school whom we had not met for two years... We had such a nice chat and we did not feel awkard at all... We talk about almost everything, but mainly our school life and the people we met... It was so...:)

Current mood: hopeful

Wah!!! Today, my P.E lesson is very tedious... My class ran around the whole field for 1 time for warming up only... Then we have three trials of running about the half field... Den need to complete within 55secs... However, 4 Justice girls have a very good stamina... For the three rounds, we maintain at 45 secs... Haha!!! So proud of it... After finish that, we were given a short break...

Next, we have to run up the stairs and run down again... We need to climb the stairs which is near the pond up to the third floor... After that, we need to run a short distance to another stairs near the parade square, den run to the 1st floor and outside the general office... We need to run for three times again... By that time, we were very tired liao... So sad and tired... But it was fun... cause I am running with my classmates...

For now, I am anticipating for the trip to Bukit Timah nature reserve tomorrow with some of my classmates... I think that it will be fun as it is organised by my great form teacher, Mr Joshua Shoo... He is a great teacher and a fun teacher too... haha!!!

Sheryl >>> When it is time to study, do not play... When it is time to play, do not think of any books...

Current mood: confused

Haha!!! Just had a career seminar last week, from tuesday to thursday... The talk is quite nice as it set me thinking what I am able to do based on my personality... However, because of the talk, I was once become aimless... I do not know what I want in life and what I want to achieve in life for a short period of time... I am so confused at that point of time. Luckily, I managed to get back the right path... Haiz... Now, I know what I want in life and needs to do what to achieved it... Haiz... I need to work really hard in order to get my aim...

Jia You.. Sheryl.... You will get what you want...

Sheryl >>> You will get what you want if you work towards it...

Current mood: enlightened

After the camp, I had not been writing my entries for a long time. It was because I haven got the time and enable to use the internet...

I have been slacking a lot for the past three days... I had been wondering what is my ultimate goal??? What is my aim, am I going to the polys or the JCs??? What exactly I want to be in the future??? What courses am I going to take if I go to the polys???

On the past two days, I am having a career seminar. It teaches me about how to set realistic goals, give me an idea of the courses in the polys. The careers that are popular and those which are not. All the stuffs are bombarding me...

I was wondering what am I going to do... Even though I had a dream of what my future career is, but after all the discouragement from the people around me.. I have no idea of what to do...
However, after today’s talk, I realised that that is too far for me to think now... As for now, my priority is to do well in my O’levels... With good grades, I can go anywhere that I want, regardless of JCs or polys... That can be decided later in the future after I got my results... Just do my best and I will not regret it...

Sheryl >>> Do not think about things that are too far away from your life now. Do what you ought to do now...

Current mood: silly

haha!!! Just came back yesterday at around 2p.m. I went to camp on Friday, report at 3p.m... I am the assistant camp co-ordinator of the NPCC camp... The whole process was a bad experience...

Starting from FRIDAY, 3.00

I reached school and found out that all my CIs reached before me and they started planning all the stuffs liao... Some of my cadetmates starts to collect the valuables and ez-link cards... All the stuffs continue on their own without me and the camp-coord given instructions... You will find out later that because of this, something serious happened later on on sunday...
We have our opening parade and muster parade... All was a failure as plan changed... Actually, is one of my cadetmates conduct the parade, in the end, it was changed to my camp-coord... Den he made quite a lot of error but it was quite good for him liao... If it was me, I dun think I have the courage to conduct such a parade... haha!!

I didn't sleep at all during the the 1st night... I was debrief by one of my ex-CIs together with my camp-coord... It last till 4.30a.m the next day... At 5, we need to brief our NCOs about what to do... All seems so fast... I am so tired and I was given permission to not go to the hiking... One of the other reason was that I sprained my legs... haha!! I was given permission to sleep in school... However, I rather accompany my friends to the hiking den sleeping in school... I even sort of overcome the fear of the heights as I went through the tree top walk without even shed a tears.... haha!!! What a great accomplishment...

When we return to school, Snake sprain her legs, Bear hurt her knees in the hike... One of my idiot cadetmates does not want to give us food just because we didn't sit properly according to his arrangement... What the hell lah!!! Such a bad attitude... It was because that we were very tired and we were chatting with the CIs... In the end, I am so fed up that I just walk away and give the excuse that I need to find the NCC people to talk about the campfire stuffs... Haha!!! We 4 even broke down in the classroom lah... haiz....

I treated the NCC members so bad during the camp... I keep telling them wat to do for the arrangement of the campfire... All was so bad and the cadets is like so tired after all the hard chores... haiz... SO SORRY!!!

I am so tired on the second day and people kept asking me if I was OK... All I can reply was I am OK, just that I am very tired... People knew that but I still cannot sleep until all was OK after the campfire... People around me knew that I was tired cause my eyes were opened only half of the normal size... haha!!! At night, I went to sleep near the sidegates cause there was really windy and I thought that no one will disturb me during my sleep...

However, I was wrong... I was asked why I am sleeping there for 4 times... 1st time, I was asked by my junior about why I am sleeping there... but I am not so sure... The 2nd time, I was asked by my cadetmates about why I am sleeping there and I was asked not to sleep there and return to the NCOs bunk... I thought that it was a hassle to walk to the level 3... So i continue to sleep there... The 3rd time, I was asked by two NCC members if I fainted and why I slept there... I replied that please do not disturb the NPCC members that are sleeping all around the school den I fall asleep again... The 4th time, I was asked by my CIs to wake up and sleep in the bunk... But I am too tired to walk amd I just rejected the offer with my eyes closed... Then, they say that it was dangerous for a girl to sleep there and there are NCC members around...Haha!!! So I accept his offer and went to the canteen to sleep... Haha!!! It was hilarious to think about it now...

When I slept in canteen, no one dares to wake me up to attend the debrief or fire drill... haha!!! They let me sleep till the time which I wake up myself which is quite early, about 6 in the morning.... Haha!!! All is so funny...

I am quite fierce towards the sec 1 & 2 cadets during the last day as their movement were real slow. All was so bad...

I lost the key to the classroom in the last day and my cadetmate lost a handphone of the cadet... It was so shocking... However, I found out that I found out that it is a prank made by one of my CIs lah... So fed up about that ...

Thats all for today...

Sheryl >>> A life without burdens is a good life for me...

Current mood: anxious
Wah!!! The camp is coming... yet I still have so many things haven done yet... I just soak the firewoods in school with my cadetmate... What the hell lah... Fancy asking a girl to soak the firewood for them...What type of guys are they... Going to be mad about them liao...

Cannot talk so much liao cause I still have a lot of maths haven do filing... So Haiz... Must go file the english, SS and Geo, and english for tomorrow liao...

Sheryl >>> Never give yourself too much pressure but some pressure are needed to strive the best...

Current mood: moody
I am so Stress...and I am going to be crazy liao ... The camp thingy haven settle yet... My maths homework haven settle yet... My Physics revision haven settle yet... My Chinese homework haven finish yet... All the stuffs are piling up like mad... Feel like ending my life to end all the troubles... But that will not solve my problems... Haha!!!

All the stress that are coming up is like going to explode in me anytime... My patience had wear out long ago and more and more people are agitating me again and again... I really do not want to care so many things already... What for that I care and get scolded by people... I am so stress out and I am going to transform that stress into work power to help me deal with my maths and physics homework... Haha!!! Bring it on... I am going to fight till the end...

Jia You!!!

Sheryl >>> Always put your best and persevere till the end... You will make it to your goal one day....

Wat the hell!!! I think that I am so pro cause I have done so many Maths sums in One day... I am so pro yet my maths sums are not finished yet... Going to be crazy liao... I think that tonight I dun need sleep liao cause I still Have Amaths, Geography and Physics haven finish doing and studying... I have my physics SPA on this tuesday... And both my Amaths and Geography need to be handled in tomorrow... So how??? Ohya!!! I still have my NPCC proposal haven submit yet... I think many teachers are going to kill me tomorrow... So Good Luck... Sheryl!!! Haha!!! I am going to do my stuffs now or i will not be able to finish them all even I stay up the whole night which is not possible... but Jia You bah...

Sheryl >>> Never waits till the last minute or you will have lots of things to finish in the end...

Current mood: argumentative

Haha!!! What the hell... I actually forgot to save the diary that I just wrote... I am so forgetful...

I am so pissed off with today's CCU training. One of my seniors actually uses eye power to see the other teammates to do the stuff... Although I am a reserve, I am so anxious about the results lah... In the end, she uses the eye power to do things... What the hell lah... I am really damn pissed off with what she had done lah... Still dare to say me that why we do not need to practice... The reason is simple cause we are professionals... haha!!! Not like you who cannot even tie a proper lashing... It is so frustrating to see people who doesn't know anything to be in the main team... But never mind... I can say that the strongest one is the one who tells people what to do and not told by others what to do... haha!!! So as a reserve, I think I am a strong 1... Haha!!!

A lot of my camp stuffs haven do yet and tomorrow has to submit a 1st draft... What the hell lah!!! Nvm... Can do it by today and I believe that I can do it...

Sheryl >>> Believe that you can do it and you will make it

Current mood: annoyed

What the hell lah!!! I am supposed to be the person who is stress about the proposal cause I am the one with him that has to face the teachers and CIs directly... You who did nothing!!! Is crying in the NPCC room that attracts many attention... You complained to the senior NCOs and made them hate and grumble behind my back... What the hell are you thinking about... Trying to get revenge on me with this lousy idea ( I will not call it a proposal cause the one that you send it to me isn't one )... Then, all the senior NCOs who doesn't know the situation keep scolding me behind the back... What strategy did you use to win their hearts... Trying to act as if you did everything??? Please man!!! You cannot even complete the part that you are supposed to hand it to me and you can lie to them that you are stress over the whole camp... Haha!!! What a joke... Now that all the senior NCOs hate me to hell, You must be laughing behind the back... WHAT A DESPICABLE PERSON !!!

What a sad case that I have to be blame when it is not my fault... I do not know what they are thinking about... Then all the seniors are all talking bad about me without knowing the real situation... Fine...

You think that your CCU is very good... It makes me wanna compete with you on the campcraft... A person who cannot even tie a simple lashings still dare to question me about my campcraft skills... It makes me want to puke on you... Haha!!! I really want to ask you if you want to have a competition on the campcraft and see which of us is better... But I think you will use the excuse that is LAME to escape from this... Forget it since you are so good at talking rubbish... So wat if you are my senior... Does that mean that you can blame me without knowing the actual situation??? HAHA!!! dun make me laugh man....

I fail all my tests in this common test... I am very disappointed in my Chemistry as I actually study it... and I gave up on my Physics because of that... Yet, I fail... What the hell lah... It really makes me wonder if I am really suitable to take the science subject... But I still believe that I will be able to do well in the O'levels as long as I work hard enough for it.... HAHA!!!

Go for it!!! Sheryl... I am going for a 10 poimts and above JC as I am going to work towards my goal... which is to be a psychologist... I think that TVXQ will be behind me... haha

Sheryl >>> Work towards your goal and never give up until you reach there...

Current mood: betrayed

I cannot imagine that she is a person like that... Hate her for life now... How can she say my bad words in front of my other friends... Is she trying to break the friendship again just like she used to do so... Really hate her... She did it to bear, me and now snake... What does she want???
Is the people with pretty face wins the trust of others... Didn't you heard about this, Never judge a book by its cover.... This is just the real life example... She made me lose my friends, the trust of my family and now she wants to harm the people around me...She is really a vicious girl man... What the hell lah... If a person with a beautiful face and has a pure heart, that will not be her for sure...

Really hate her to the core now... Arh, why things goes till that... Anyway, I am just trying to concentrate on my studies after finishing my duty as a assistant camp-coordinator. So just keep me out of the happenings around me... I do not want to continue and place my studies out of my sight and NP is my main focus... NOW, THIS CANNOT BE ACCEPTED!!!
I am going to focus on my studies cause my Amaths fail until like siao... What the hell... Jia You bah...

Sheryl >>> Always mean what you say or you will lose your trust in others

Current mood: busy

Wah!!! Today, got a lot things happen... I felt so pro cause I last night at around 1.30a.m den sleep... den today, I never yawn in class leh... so happy...
den, WTH, today, 2 of my groups almost fight with each other... wat the hell lah... Phew, nothing has happen in the end lah...

today, the camp proposal make me damn stress lah... everything need to confirm and confirm... den her not sure, there not sure... dunno what the hell am I doing... Going to be crazy liao... Scolded my squatmates cause they didn't do the stuffs that they are supposed to ... Funny loh... Is like everything I do lah... Then can anyone tell me what is the use of other in-charge... all is I do... what the hell lah...

Sheryl >>> Never put the world's things on your shoulder. It will only make yourself tired

Current mood: infuriated

What the hell... I today damn bu shuang... What the hell... She think she big arh... know how to shout only... I quarrel with my whole family today... haha!!! cause they say that I will not have any friends... damn it lah... Think they who arh... Keep using these stuffs to agitate and hurt me... I damn bu shuang them, they are my family members leh... I thought that they should be concerning about me... I should have learnt my lessons in the past that never trust my family members as they will also betray me one day... Hence, I know that I have only myself to trust and no one...

Never blog for a week is so damn uneasy... I have my common test for the last week... I do not know my results yet, But I can confirm that My Amaths and Physics will fail like siao... haha!!! I hope that my Chemistry will pass cause I had been failing badly in the past one year... Hope that I can really pass my test...

Still feel so bu shuang... But listening to dong bang songs can really ease my heart... I think that their voices and songs can stop me from thinking so much for that moment... haha!!! Dong bang really rocks my heart... love them so much...

really hate my brother now... He think he go NS very big izzit... Come back and act as if we are under him... Command me here and there... Must be something wrong in his mind now... Hate him now... What the hell!!! Think he who arh... Only know how to command here and suan me... Only know how to agitate me... Really feel like killing him now... Arh... What a GOOD brother and family I have...

I still have a lot of stuffs to do... Going to be crazy liao

Current mood: busy

Wah!!! Today, I am so shocked by a lot of people...

In the morning, I was shocked by Mr Ong on the Chemistry that we are revising for the common test... The topics are so little yet so much to study... Arh.. Die liao lah... BUT, Mr Ong says that as long as you know the concept well enough, you will be able to do it... So, I decided to work extra hard on the common test so that when the teachers are reviewing if I can continue to study Chemistry, I am able to prove to them that I am able to cope with the subject if I work hard... Haha!!!

In the maths lessons after the chemistry, when Mrs Quek was revising the maths formulae that I am supposed to know for the common test, I was shocked... As it has around 15 formulae for me to understand and apply it with confidence... Siao liao... I need to brush up on my maths during these two days when my brother come home from the army... haha!!

During NPCC training, I was shocked again.... Cause I heard that there is a quarrel between the NCOs and the Sec 3... Heard that the whole situation is very bad due to one of my cadet mate, Ain... She shouted at the Sec 3 without any thinking that she was wearing the school uniform... haha!! Hence, it causes a big commotion... haha!!! Yet, I am still in the dark... haha!! Cause I am busy having test yesterday...

Anyway, I am going to have a busy weekend cause of the topics that I am going to study, revise and do during the period... haha!!! I am going to constantly remind myself not to fall asleep or finding excuses for myself during the period that I am studying... NO ONE IS GOING TO DISTURB ME DURING THE PERIOD WHEN I AM STUDYING....

Current mood: busy

HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY!!!

I am so pissed out liao... I deleted my writing just now and I have to re-type again and I have no time liao... Time is running out for me...

Today, I am so sad cause no one ask me out for a date during the Valentine's day... So sad All my friends are so busy dating and going out with others... No lah... I am just joking lah... Even if there is a date today, I will not even have the time to spare and go out... What a busy valentine's day... haha!!

At the start of the morning, I am already busy looking for XinYi, XinHui and LinYing in school... cause I am scared that they will not be able to cope when they need to bring so many flowers to school... I even ask Mr Shoo about where they are thrice in the morning... Phew!!! They came just in a moment when I am really worried... But in the end, LinYing is almost late for school...
During the lesson time, we were busy wrapping the flowers together and I am busy studying the Chemistry... I have a Chemistry dignostic test that have been dragged for a long time... So busy
After school, I help out a little for the preparation of the selling of flowers during the lunchtime concert... I cannot help out much as I do not know what to do for the flowers and I am supposed to have the test at 2.30p.m... haha!!!

I went down to the Chemistry lab for my Chemistry test at 2.30 but in the end, the test starts at 3p.m as Mr Ong is the teacher in-charge of the dance performers.... The Chemistry diagnostic teswt is so difficult... I kept leaving blanks as I do not know how to do them all... I can predict that in this test, I will sure flunk it... I am wondering to myself, what if the teachers think that I am not suitable to take the O'levels chemistry... What will happen to me??? I cannot go to any JC or Polytechnic...Arh!!! I am so scared but it is too late to regret liao...

After the chemistry test, I rush to the staffroom to find Ms Yeo cause I need to take the literature test that I owe her for a long time... haha!!! I am too rush that my mind is in a blank when I did my lit test... Arh... Den the poem is so difficult that I do not even know what the poem is about... The poem is as below...

A wind is ruffling the tawny pelt
Of Africa. Kikuyu, quick as flies
Batten upon the bloodstreams of the veldt.
Corpses are scattered through a paradise.
But still the worm, colonel of carrion, cries:
'Waste no compassion on these separate dead'
Statistics justify and scholars seize
The salients of colonial policy.
What is that to the white child hacked in bed?
To savages, expendable as Jews?

Threshed out by beaters, the long rushes break
In a white dust of ibises whose cries
Have wheeled since civilization's dawn
From the parched river or beast-teeming plain;
The violence of beast on beast is read
As natural law, but upright man
Seeks his divinity by inflicting pain.
Delirious as these worried beasts, his wars
Dance to the tightened carcass of a drum,
While he calls courage still, that native dread
Of the white peace contracted by the dead.

Again brutish necessity wipes its hands
Upon the napkin of a dirty cause, again
A waste of our compassion, as with Spain.
The gorilla wrestles with the superman.

I who am poisoned with the blood of both,
Where shall I turn, divided to the vein?
I who have cursed
The drunken officer of British rule, how choose
Between this Africa and the English tongue I love?
Betray them both, or give back what they give?
How can I face such slaughter and be cool?
How can I turn from Africa and live?

The poem is very difficult right??? Ya!!! It is so difficult and I only wrote half a page per question..It is simply too little for a literature student... What the hell!!! It think that I will sure fail in this test...

After which, I went to find Mr Fam for my maths as I do not understand them at all intiatly... But due to today is valentine's day, Mr Fam has to rush home to celebrate with her wife, I think.... Haha!!! He is so romantic... In the end, I am left with XinHui who went to look for him earlier on... She taught me the basic and I realised that I know how to do it all except that I think I do not know how to do them myself... Maybe it is because I didn't really pay attention to the maths lesson conducted by Mrs Quek... Haha!!!

I have still so many homework that I owe the teachers.. some are complusory to finish them all by today... Geography, Social Studies and Literature need to be handed in tomorrow... haha!!! Going to rush them all tonight... I still have to complete at least Amaths chapter 13 and some chinese homework tonight too... Cause if I didn't hand them in tomorrow, the teachers will call my parents soon... hence, I have no choice but to hand them in tomorrow.. haha

Sheryl >>> Some expected things will happen in a day...But some are predictable

Current mood: busy

What the hell!!! Today, I have a very bad news which is my Chemistry diagnostic test is forward to tomorrow... Arh... Few more hours to the test... I think I have fail the MCQs part, so I need to work hard on my Section 2 and 3...

Still NVM leh!!! I still got a lot of NPCC stuffs haven do yet... Going to die liao lah... Den all my information is at the spoilt computer there... Cannot retrieve back... So still need to think a new 1... Wat the hell... Still got the schedule need to do cause need the schedule to inform the cadets... Haha!!! Going to be crazy liao... Help!!!

Got to end here cause I need to shut down the computer by 8p.m... Cause need to study my Chemistry... ya... that's all

Sheryl >>> Get help when others are able to help you and not carry the burden all by yourself...

Current mood: busy

Wat the hell... Today, my diagnostic test only got MCQ!!! cause of the stuffs that both A and J have...However, the test is also damn difficult. But I almost want to sleep during the test lah... den my body damn itchy too... I kept scratching my body where all the mosquitoes bites are....

Wah... Go back Malaysia once almost cause my death of itchness... haha!! Right now, I am still scratching lah... So damn itchy...

Today, I went for CCU training too... Is like damn slack... I was chatting with my friends all along... Is like wasting my precious time... haha!!! damn fed up... All my homework haven touch yet... I think I need to find any maths teacher to teach me maths or I am going to die le lah.. All the Amaths, I dunno how to do lah... Wat can I do other than finding teacher to help me... haha!!!
Just now, my damn brother was like shouting... think he who arh... My dad go ask him to wake up and eat dinner, yet he shout at my dad... Wat the hell... If playing the basketball will make him so tired, den might as well not play... haha!!! I am going to have my shower and do my homework liao... Jia You

Sheryl >>> Never shout at others before you reflect the matter yourself...

Current mood: amused

My family computer spoilt liao... Cause of my brother... He put something den the computer got short circuit... haha!! The whole computer shut down den cannot on again... haha!!! BUT we got two laptops in exchange cause my cousin-in-law give us two old laptops... haha!!! Right now, I am using the laptop... haha!!!

Sheryl >>> Never look things at the dark side cause something is going on at the other side of your life

Current mood: worried

haha!!! Happy New Year!!! I went back to Malaysia on Wednesday... It was pretty fun cause all my cousins gathered together to play mahjong and pokercards... They all gamble till night... I was sick on these days so I do not have the energy to play till so I slept at around 12 a.m... haha!!! They played till around 2 to 3 a.m... We have a fun time but I am very sian too...

WHY??? Cause my subject teachers gave our class so many homework as if we do not need to go anywhere but stay at home to do the homework... Arh!!! I have 9 subjects of homework to do... Moreover, I still have my Chemistry diagnostic test on Monday... Going to die soon le... So many homework and I still haven complete yet... Cause I now still dun hav the mood... But I still have to do them before the day ends... haha!!!

Cause I am sick during the Chinese New Year period, I cannot eat the foods that I normally eat... I have serious sore throat that I cannot wish my elderly some auspicious words... Haiz... Even when I take the red packets, I feel so ashamed lah... haha!!! But I am damn hiong... cause after I am a bit ok, I continue to eat all the heaty food... Then my fever went up again... haha!!!

I still need to do all my homework... Arh!!! Going to be crazy liao... Still owe my teachers so many homework... HAHA!!! my studies will go down... I need to find Mr Fam... cause I dunno all my maths... haha!!! Oh ya... I still have a literature test... Going to die liao cause I heard that it was a tough test... cause my friends have the test when I am sick...

Sheryl >>> Never get sick before Chinese New Year cause you will miss all the good foods that you will get to eat every year...

Current mood: sick

Wat the hell... So many things happen when new year is coming...

1) I quarrelled with my mum cause of some stuffs which make her and me so bu shuang... Anyway, think she who arh... So damn bu shuang her...

2) I got sick cause I ate too much heaty food on sunday... cause I quarrel with her... den damn fed up, so I skip my dinner... As a result, I ate too much tidbits... My fever went up to 39 degrees lah... At that time, I thought that I am going to die or become a retard... haiz... Its going to new year soon... Yet I am sick... I cannot eat all the good stuff... damn it...

3) I HAVE SO MANY HOMEWORK TO DO DURING THE CHINESE NEW YEAR... I got my Chemistry, Physics, A & E maths, Chinese, English, Geography, Social Studies, Literature... damn it... I think I have a hardworking new year... haha!!! Going to be a mad person soon....

Sheryl >>> you can never complete the work in the world but you can do your part by completing yours

Current mood: enlightened

haha!!! Today, I saw a lot of cute little sec 1... They are so innocent... but I dunno what will become of them when they are sec 2 or upper sec... However, cause of the sec 1, we played with them... den neglect our CCU training... haiz...

Today, I have two continuous test... 1st test is the Social Studies and the other is Chinese... What the hell lah... I was so tired after the 1st test, and I still need to continue the next 1 immediately... There is no break in between lah... I almost fall asleep when I am doing the test...Haha!!!

I am so tired now yet I still need to do camp proposal, A Maths & E Maths homeworks, study Chemistry, do Chemistry 10 years series, Literature File cover for Off centre - the lit book that I am studying now... , read physics textbook, NPCC sec 1 schedule... haiz.... Dunno what to do 1st...

Maybe...
1) E maths homework
2) A maths homework
3) NPCC camp proposal
4) NPCC sec 1 schedule
5) Study Chemistry
6) Do 10 years series
7) Literature homework...

Sheryl >>> Organise your things before they get mess up again

Current mood: ashamed

Haiz... Today, my physics diagnostic test sure flunk liao lah... All the definitions, I dunno... den dunno how to write... those which I dunno den anyhow write answer also wrong. Haiz... Mr Shoo say that if cannot pass or fail very badly, may need to review us whether we can take physics for O'level a not... Haiz... If cannot, den how...

Haha!!! Today, I have a chance to train Sec 1... I finally know the feelings that zheng jie train us when we are sec 1... Haha!! but that is a pretty nice experience lah... good.

YA... I need to go study liao...

Sheryl >>> Take the chance when you are given...

Current mood: listless

Dunno why... I am so restless in the morning... I keep moving here and there during the physics lesson... haha!!! Mr Shoo must be feeling so sad cause I didn't really concentrate during his lesson... haha!!! I must really have enough sleep so that I can have enough energy for my lesson...

I need to buck up on my studies liao... I was so shocked that my GEOGRAPHY got D7... what the hell lah... Fail leh... Hence, I need to really think and buck up my studies... !!!
Jia you... I am going to AJC for a course tomorrow... haha!!! Must be exciting sia... cause is all about science experiments.... HAHA!!!

Today, my brother went to field camp... Must be exciting, cause it's all about training... N the training must be very tough... Jia you bah... botak... haha!!

Sheryl >>> Must always think of the consequences before you act

Current mood: peaceful

HAHA!!! My dad just bought a new car... and we went to get it on saturday... It was a pretty exciting moment when we saw the car... I finally can sit on a car after so many years... HAHA!!! Having a car is so shiok...

I saw my brother with a botak head on friday... He reach home at around 11p.m which was pretty late... It was because of their bunk is untidy, that is why their sergent punish them by letting them to take the last boat home... haha!! He told me lots of exciting stuff in the campsite... "It was really fun although it was tiring and tough... HAHA!!!

Yesterday, I went to send my brother back to the campsite with my family members... haha!! seeing so many NS men at 1 go is pretty weird... I am so proud of my brother and those who serve the NS... They are so brave as they went through all the training to protect our country... I am so proud of Singapore... haha!!!

As for today, nothing really happens...

Current mood: grateful

Today, I am both happy and angry... But the happy part is slightly more than the angry part...
We have CCU training today. What the helll.... He think he who are... go change the time from 1.30 to 3.30... Siao arh... so late train wat...brainless 1 loh...

But today, one of our sirs came back... haha!!! quite happy cause we chat for around three to four hours... siao right... but it is really an enjoyable moment... haha!!!

Sheryl >>> cherish every you have with the person beside you...as you may never get the chance to do so again...

Current mood: indescribable
HAHA!!! Today, I got my O'level results...for chinese only lah... But I got A1 distinction leh... haha!!! so happy... I think I am a bit nearer to my goals liao... But I still have to work for my higher chinese and my other subjects especiall science and maths...

I have my Amaths test tomorrow...which I hope that I will do better compare to the last year... I need to work hard and not be proud for my results... Haiz...

Today, I felt really weird cause I went for NP but I need to hide here and there... Wat the hell lah... Think the BPS is who are... Come den we need to hide... Maybe we are too coward bah... But he really damn...

Need to study for my Amaths test liao.. and my Chemistry... haha!!! Jia you... U can do it if u want... haha!!

Sheryl >>> Do things with 50% of determination and 50% of hard work... haha!!!

Current mood: excited

Haha!! Today in NP, i had a great time... althought it was quite slack...but at least, I have a good laugh about something... some jokes we crack and some other stuff we do...

Sometimes, I think that I am too overboard when chatting with CI... I though of them as friend so is like doesn't have some respect that we should have in NPCC... hence, I think that I should show more respect to them in the next parade and the future bah...

I am also quite PRO... cause tomorrow, I have my CHEMISTRY diagnostic test and most importantly, I am taking my O'level results tomorrow... Arh... It is so stress, yet I am still using the computer now... haha!!!

Tomorrow, my brother is coming back from his campsite if I am not wrong... So, I better keep the computer desk clean for him to use... He must be damn tired when he comes home and he likes things to be neat and tidy... Haha!!! Look forward for his returns... I think that my mood will be damn high tomorrow...haha!!!

Sheryl >>> Take things easy but NOT take things lazy

Today, nothing really happen lah... Cause is just a normal day loh... Except that there is a Emaths test but I am quite happy cause I know how to do almost them all... HAHA!!! Tomorrow got Geography test and I need to complete the chinese workbook and compo today... For the maths, I tried to do some bah... haha!!! thats all...for today, I think...
By the way, 2 more days to thursday and my brother is coming back.... haha

Sheryl >>> Nothing special happens means a safe day has pass...

Current mood : Blah


haha!!! I am really a profession in not handing up homework... I should be handing up my physics workbook, my Amaths homework and my chinese homewordk today... Guess what, I haven finish or even start on them yet... But I am going to sleep later cause today is a tired day for me... I need to complete all the homework before I sleep tonight... But I dun think I am able to complete them

I am still thinking about Ngee Ann poly cause I saw my trainer there... haha!! He is still so cute and handsome... Looks like I am going to fa hua chi on him... HAHA!!! but anyway, I need to concentrate in achieving my desired results... haha!!!

Sheryl >>> Jia You!!!

Current Mood : Sleepy

What the hell... Today, I went to work, den found out that there is a new manager there... I made a lot of mistake today den she very piss off with me... Cause i keep keying the wrong stuff den need refund... den take taxi forget to take receipt.. Pro sia me... Counter is really****... dunno wat to say... dun feel like working anymore

haha... I bought a DBSK shirt today althought it isn't the real shirt... haha.. But still quite happy... BUT, she today show me a lot of micky stuff which I am damn jealous about... haha... I am going to buy them soon... Just be patient... sheryl... You will get them soon
OMG... I haven do my homework yet... My maths homework... die liao... hence after writing these, i am going to do homework liao... look likes i am going to burn midnight oil today... Wah...

Sheryl >>> never do things last minute... Always prepare things before it happens

Mood : Blah

Haha... Just came back from Ngee Ann polytechnic... I can say that it is a good school BUT it is simply too huge for people to walk around... There are 7 schools of different courses... They are the school of Engineering, school of Humanities, school of Life Sciences & Chemical Technology, school of Health Sciences, school of InfoComm Technology, school of Business Accountancy and school of Firm & Media Studies... But each of the school provides different types of courses...
What I am most interested in is the School of Humanities.... It has the course that I wish to take which is the Psychology & Community Services... However, the cut-off point for the course is 9 points...(L1R4)... It's seems to be interesting. I want to understand how the brain or mind of the people works... Hence, I think this is the course that I will take provided that I can score almost A1 for all my subjects...

The next course that I am interested in is the School of Life Sciences & Chemical Technology... It has all the interesting courses that attracted me..Most importantly is the course of Biomedical Science... It is cool to take that Diploma as it is a course that will equip us with the skills to be at the forefront of research to discover breakthroughs in understanding human genetics and cures for diseases...

But I still hope to get into a JC... prefer Anderson JC as that is said to be a good JC... However, if I manage to get all A1's and A2's for my subject... I will consider both JC and poly and all depends on my English results... ya... So I have to work very hard to achieve my goals or I will be just talking crap without actions...

No matter what... I need to study real hard and a 9 point for my O'level is a must... JIA YOU>>>

sheryl >>> aim a goal and strive to achieve it... Actions speaks louder than Words

mood : Determined

Cause of my CCA, I went back home late... I still have alot of homework to do and all are expected to hand up tomorrow... I think I better have a self-discipline and determination thing in my mind liao or I will not be able to complete them... So sad... Stay tune tomorrow to find out if I have complete my homework... Hope that I can write a good news than a bad news... haha... Ok!! that's for all

Sheryl >>> self-discipline and determination is important to everyone... Without that, you will not be able to accomplish anything

WAH... today damn bu shuang...

Today, we were chatting happily about the poly stuff... the courses and the cut-off points with them... Den the idiot came and say that we spoke our mother tongue too loud cause the cadets are there, so he close 1 eye lah... BUT HE DIDN'T STOP OUR CONVERSATION...
Den we heard about that one of our senior needs help badly, so we ended our conversation and went to help him... If we knew that earlier, we will not be chatting lah... Although we were grumbling about the stuffs that we need to do, we still finish the work on time... den we continue our chatting cause we thought that we have nothing to do... No senior stop us and ask us to do other stuff...

NVM... the worst part is during the debrief time... Who he thinks he is or who he thinks we are??? He wants us to agree with what he say, wants us to do what he say, wants us to know what he thinks.... Please lah... You think that we can know what you are thinking meh... You say that everything you do is for the unit... But I dun think so loh... Our unit is even better than ur unit before you came... why... cause we have our own method of training the cadets... 11mins for changing uniform and break isn't a demanding thing... Is depends on the cadets' thinking... If they want to have a longer break, den change faster lah... But if they take their own sweet time, den they will have a lesser time to have a break lah... That is our thinking... But you say that is their cadets welfare... Den you expect us to let them have the a longer changing time and have a shorter time in training???

Please lah.. You want us to end on time, den you are so demanding on the cadet welfare... What do you really want... Please tell us... We are so confused and angry about the way you treat us...

SO FED UP TODAY>>> THINK YOU WHO ARH

Haha..due to some techical error of my computer, the post that I am suppose to post is gone.. I need to rewrite again...why...

haiz... It is raining heavily now... I am supposed to be in the popular now choosing the notebook that I want and the colours of my colourpens, going to comics collection or connection(I dunno) to choose my DBSK pictures and keychains...

Actually, there is a friend of mine whom I thought that I am try to save back our friendship... However, it seems to me that it is impossible now...I dunno...maybe what I did was too much for them to accept bah... But I kept thinking that all the stuffs that we talk were the faults that were found on me... But I do not know the faults that you guys think that are found on you guys... Maybe, when you guys see this, you will be wondering why am I again trying to push the blame to you all... But think... have you all admit any faults or tell me any faults that you all have made to result in this situation... I dunno...

I am quite happy when you came to find me yesterday cause I know that you are trying to save it too(hope that I am not yi xiang qing yuan in this)... But I am thinking of a topic that we could both start on... maybe the time I took was too long that you are quite piss off and walk away...( hope that I am not yi xiang qing yuan here too)... Hence, I tried to make amendments by finding you during recess... However, you are too busy doing your homework or you are trying to avoid a conversation with me(hope not)... So when I ask you if you want to accompany me to the popular today, you say that you will see 1st... But is my wishful thinking that you will go with me... Haiz... I am so disappointed but what can I say???

I am supposed to do my homework before I can surf the net and write my entry which is a promise that I made to myself... Looks like I am a person who really lack of discipline... I have around 4 to 5 homework that has to be handed up by tomorrow... Haha!!! Yet I am still using the computer now and I have a few test coming up which determine if I can continue my work for O'level... Must really start to buck up liao...

I think that is the end... If I still have more to write, I will write them tonight after I have finish my homework... Ya...Should end with a new quote of myself
sheryl >>> Never make any promises to anyone including to yourself unless you can make it...

I went back to Malaysia on saturday to celebrate my grandma's birthday... because of that, i didn't do all my homework that is supposed to be completed by monday.. which is today... I am supposed to work hard to complete them yet i am here using the computer to do all sorts of stuff but mostly related to dong bang shin ki... wondering what will they ask me to do if i neglect my school work because of me trying hard to understand them better... it is my o'level year... yet i am still slacking... my friendship isn't that good at the start of the year... which is sort of a bad start for me... I made a PROMISE today to my teacher and myself... I found out that I am actually breaking them all and I am a person who doesn't hold up to my promise... I need to break away from that impression that I gave to the people around me... SO WHAT CAN I DO ??? I do not know but keep reminding myself to remember all the stuffs that I promise others that I will do... Hence, I need to stop blogging cause I think I have around 4 to 5 homework which I haven done yet... I still need to surf the net to ensure that I am being posted by the global news which is what my English and Geography teacher said to us... That's the end for today..

What can I say? Do you all want me to say straight to your face that I want to salvage this friendship or give you all the solution that I want? Please, if these things are to be force by me, it will not be the outcome that I want - to be like what we did in the past... I just try to understand what are the changes in me that are bad, and I need to change. But you all shouldn't expect me to change overnight like what you all say I did, in taiwan... maybe, the decision for me to go was a wrong choice... I just couldn't stand that you all want the matter to rest without even trying to understand why I change... what are the reasons... By one talk, one letter, you all can let the matter rest... why... is my relationship with you guys that poor... I just couldn't understand... I also do not understand why each time, the conversation with you guys just ended unhappily... why... is the reason lying on me...Ya, I agree that some parts, it did lie on me cause i just couldn't get my stuff right... what I want... but i just couldn't say it out that i wan to save this friendship cause i just cannot get over it... why just can't you guys understand it... maybe you guys want to save it to, but i just couldn't see the action done... Is it that you all have given up on me or what...? I am not sure... cause you all just didn't tell me straight in the face that you all want what... if is let the matter rest without even doing anything except the talk which you all claim to think that that has resolve everything, I really have nothing to say... cause I think with that talk alone, will not make things done... at least, I did something tat I know that I should do to save this friendship, is to try to change...I know that I just ask u all to continue during the talk, I admit that that is my fault of doing it cause it will only make things worse without my explanation.... but can't just anyone of you think of my feelings at that point of time... but I did ask you guys to listen to me and even chat with you all in a different manner, that did help a bit, but why our conversation always ended unhappily... why... because I take things for granted???(I admit) because I am too harsh with my words??? ( I admit that sometimes, it does) because you guys couldn't understand my language(I don't know)... or because you all don't know what I want actually??? I know that I am a hot-temper person, self-centered... I don't know... maybe bah... self-centered in... I don't know... just tell me... but till the end of the point... I just cannot accept the fact that you guys are letting the matter to rest....ahahahahah.... want to shout all my feelings out till my lungs burst.... haha!!! That should be a great feeling... haha

This is my 1st post here... wondering if this blog could last longer than all my other sub-blogs... haha... Just transfer my journal from Myspace to blogger... Hope that this will last long... as I am still considering if I should continue to use Myspace or change to blogger...

Sheryl Chua...
23/08, 7teen
Temasek Poly
Retail management
Wakeboarder???

Crazy Love

♥ 시아준수 • Xiah
♥ 믹키유천 • Micky
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♥ To have a lasting friendship with JOYJ
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♥ To have a lasting friendship with The TWINS...
♥ To have a lasting friendship with NP4
♥ To have a cool outing with friends...



♥ To watch a concert of TVXQ! live
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♥ To be able to fly to Korea or Japan to attend their fan meetings
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